by Mike Stewart

Yesterday I made one of the hardest decisions of my life.

Several months ago I was approached with a business opportunity by another sales trainer who is not only a friend, but a consummate professional whom I respect deeply. He asked me to participate with a small group of other successful sales trainers to form a new company so that we could combine our businesses, grow the new entity, and sell it in a few years. According to the business model, we could each walk away with several million dollars.

All my life, it seems, I have worked to be successful financially. This once in a lifetime opportunity seemed perfect and I was really excited about the potential to cash in my chips and retire in style. Even if the business model didn't work precisely as planned, I figured that there would be a significant financial reward not too far down the road.

Yesterday, after months of helping get this opportunity under way, I withdrew from the venture.

"This above all - to thine own self be true." - Shakespeare

My reason for withdrawing was pretty simple: there are some things I want to do with my life over the next few years that would not be possible if I continued with the new enterprise. My programs were losing their individuality and it was certain that my personal work would quickly lose the uniqueness that seems to bring special value to my clients and members of my audiences.

Frankly, this decision would have been much less stressful from a financial standpoint if the Dow and NASDAQ were still at the levels of a year and a half ago. But, I realized, the decision was about choosing what really matters most to me and I was frankly surprised that I chose the freedom to serve others, as I feel that I am being called to serve them, over the promise of more money.

This change represents a significant choice point in my life and there is no doubt that I have undergone an ending of sorts. As a result, I am experiencing the typical feelings of loss and displacement that all of us tend to feel when faced with change.

In such situations we are required to negotiate a transition from the ending of a stable self-definition or life situation to a new beginning. It is almost always that way when we are faced with significant change, whether it is a change by choice, as in this case, or a change that is forced upon us, as was the case when Barbara and I lost our son, Mark, to cancer four years ago. Although there is no comparison of the degree of impact and depth of sorrow between the two, the fundamental process for negotiating the change process is the same in both cases.

It's the process required when a sales manager directs a salesperson to change sales practices he has become comfortable with over the years and begin making more prospecting calls. It's the same process required when anyone faces a difficult change in their life, from the loss of a job to the death of a loved one, from health challenges to major changes at work, from divorce to a cross-country move.

"The people we are and the lives we lead are determined, for better or worse, by our loss experiences." - Judith Viorst

The process of transition involves three basic phases - (1) change, either made by choice or forced upon us, creates an ending in our current life situation, (2) we struggle through a zone of difficulty, which William Bridges describes as a "neutral zone", and (3) we, hopefully, emerge through a new beginning into an acceptable altered state of being.

Effectively negotiating these transitions in our lives always depends upon our letting go of the things that are holding us back, things that keep us tied to the past and block our way to the new beginnings in our lives.

To find peace with the death of a loved one, we often must let go of the guilt that comes with the realization that we are forgetting details of their life, or the feeling that we failed them in some way, especially when they were dying. To effectively negotiate the transitions I am facing as I begin to cope with the new reality of why I believe that I am in the speaking/training business, I will have to let go of my long-held belief that this is mostly about making money. (I already know this ain't going to be easy!)

"You have to embrace changes and say I'm moving on." - Nicole Kidman

Dear Reader, what are the changes you are facing? In order to successfully negotiate the transitions from what is ending in your life or work to the new beginnings that you seek what are the things that you will have to let go of?

As you strive to identify them and let go of them...

Be Encouraged,


Mike


Copyright (C) 2002 by Michael M. Stewart. All rights reserved.

EMBRACING CHANGE - UNDERSTANDING AND ACCEPTING TRANSITIONS IN LIFE AND WORK.
Because of our experiences with deep loss, my associate Barbara Glanz, CSP, and I are convinced of the need for a workshop to help others understand and manage the process of change from both a male and female perspective.
Participants will also explore ways to let go of the past and move on to new beginnings, both in life and at work.

Please let us know if you are interested in this program for yourself or your organization.
Next public seminar, Lombard (Chicago), IL March 6, 2002
Call +1-800-422-5252.


Mike Stewart, CSP

Encouraging Passionate Leadership in Sales and Management

Invite Mike to Speak at Your Next Meeting

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"Close More Sales! - Persuasion Skills That Boost Your Selling Power"
Published by AMACOM, New York
European Distribution by McGraw-Hill


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Visit us at www.MikeStewartSeminars.com
Tel +1-770-512-0022
Fax +1-770-671-0023

Mike Stewart presents AMA's Fundamentals of Sales Management for the Newly Appointed Sales Manager and Field Management of Salespeople.