For the Boy Who Would Be CEO

By Sander A. Flaum

I read something that really struck me in the May 24 edition of the London Financial Times, a feature entitled, “I want to be like you—advice for the would-be CEO.” In the article, Lucy Kellaway reviews a book by Doug Barry, an adolescent from Philadelphia, called Wisdom for a Young CEO. The book is a compendium of the 100 letters he wrote to the world's top CEOs and their responses. Doug Barry has always wanted to be a CEO and so he sought career advice straight from the horse's mouth.

About the book, Kellaway writes, “The first incredible thing about these letters is that there are so many of them. The second remarkable thing is that almost all the letters are the same.” The leaders almost all list passion, respect, ethics, listening, teamwork and lifelong learning as their driving motives for their work. Kellaway bluntly states in her article, “I don't accept this at all. I suspect the uncanny similarity of their letters is the fault of the leadership industry. This says that there is only one way to lead—the emotional-intelligence-coaching-motivational way.” After citing some examples of this in the letters, Kellaway admits that “this [insights about passion and honesty] is heart-warming but fanciful.”

Near the end of the article, Kellaway lists some of the things she believes to be true about CEOs, admitting that none of these truths were to be found in the 100 letters from the top. Here is a sample: “You need to have a huge amount of personal ambition to climb the ladder; you will work so hard and so intensely that you will have little time or energy for anything else; you will have an inordinate amount of attention placed on you and the overwhelming likelihood is that your stay at the top will end in failure.” This last one, she reminds us, is evidenced by the fact of the large number of CEOs Doug wrote to four years ago that have since been ousted from their positions for issues of performance or ethics.

As a former CEO of a publicly traded company, I can't argue with Kellaway. It is one of the toughest jobs around and to do it well every day requires all the energy one possesses. To do this job well is a way of life, a practice, not a position. Being a leader isn't for everybody, despite the “leadership industry”, to which Kellaway refers, that is packaging the practice as if it were. At the end of her piece, Kellaway reflects: “If I were Doug's mum, I would have mixed feelings about his endeavor. As a parent, you hope your children will not want to be actors or rally drivers. Even more, you hope they won't want to be CEOs.” Kellaway wants to make sure that business leadership is seen for what it is—one of the hardest jobs there is.

Doug Barry didn't write me to seek advice about the road to CEO, but if he had I couldn't have offered him a formula or a simple aphorism to sum it up once and for all. When I asked my friend, John Glenn, what it means to lead, he said much of leadership is a mystery to him. He couldn't quantify it yet he practiced it. He said he was probably able to do it day in and day out because of the level of enthusiasm and commitment he had for his work. As a military pilot, test pilot, astronaut and Senator, his love for what he was doing and his sense of purpose and pride in it carried the day. His leadership was a natural extension of his commitment to the task at hand. The great leaders of history loved their task, not their title. They put up with the burdens of their operational position because their belief in their missions was so unshakably strong.

My advice to Doug and to all young people is to find that thing which you feel incomparably called to do. If the task gets deep enough into your guts, you might have no other option but to lead. Leadership may in effect become a choiceless choice because your level of commitment simply makes you the most qualified to inspire and teach others to build on your mission. But this is not an easy life that comes with a handbook for success. This life is one of rewarding struggle.

And, if Doug cares about something this much, it will inevitably hurt. It will hurt when he can't succeed every day. It will hurt when he is working long hours and gets home after his children have gone to bed. So quite simply, if he doesn't absolutely have to lead, I would tell Doug not to set out to do it. The money and title aren't worth it; there are more important things in life. I would tell Doug to only lead and become a CEO if he feels that doing so is the absolutely only way that his deepest desires can become actualized.

In truth, there is no real “leadership industry.” This is a fabrication of book publishers and consultant co-conspirators. In truth, there are only leaders—each one fallible, individual and in the midst of a struggle to take his or her ideas and make them living, breathing realities. If Doug wants such a life, then there is room for him, as there is for lots of would-be young leaders. But their road ahead won't be paved with the platitudes of the “leadership industry” - it will be a path cut anew with the fresh determination of a generation that dares to find its own way.

To learn more, consider these AMA seminars. Or click here for a complete list of AMA's Leadership Seminars.

• Developing Executive Leadership
• Preparing for Leadership: What It Takes to Take the Lead

Author Bio: Sander A. Flaum is managing partner in Flaum Partners, Inc., located in New York City. Prior to starting his new firm, he was chairman of the board of EURO RSCG Life Becker.