Growing — Without Getting Too Big for Your Britches

If you're good at your job, and if you're ambitious, you may find yourself rising much faster than the other employees in your office. The time may come when you'll still be called an assistant but your boss will be giving you considerably more power, responsibility, and pay than the other employees of your rank. If you're not careful, this can lead to jealousy and conflict. How do you grow in your job without alienating your colleagues?

The one overarching rule is, Don't act like a big shot when people can see you. It's okay to congratulate yourself in private, and to remind yourself of how good you are, but keep it to yourself. Here are some specific examples of behavior to be avoided:

Telling your peers how to do their jobs. Many ambitious people make the mistake of trying to impress their bosses by criticizing a peer in their boss's hearing. There's probably nothing more maddening to the person being criticized, and it'll make your boss think you're a weasel -- guaranteed!

Acting as though you are the highest-ranking assistant in the office or as though you have a title you don't have. Examples of this would be ordering other assistants about whenever a visitor is in the office, or giving that visitor information that should have come from some other assistant. A simple rule: Never do or say anything that would cause someone to ask, "Who died and made you president?"

Cutting your peers socially. Sure, it's a big feather in your cap if higher ranking people want you to be part of their circle, but this mustn't make you think you're too good to socialize with your peers. Admittedly, it's difficult to strike a balance. In many workplaces, social classes are very sharply defined on the basis of salary and/or title, and if you have lunch with the "executive" class now and then, other assistants might resent you for "getting above yourself." That can't always be helped, but do try to spread yourself around socially.

Volunteering information about your increased authority, salary, or impending promotion. If the other assistants wonder why you didn't tell them you were being made an account executive before the promotion was announced, you can say, "I didn't want to tell you because it wasn't final, and I didn't want to jinx myself."

Putting on a "go-getter" act in public. Request greater responsibilities in private, and be as low key as possible when you're accepting assignments that are clearly more challenging than what your peers are working on.

Invading other people's territory. You might occasionally get an assignment that requires you to do something that is ordinarily another assistant's job. If it looks like you might make that assistant look bad by taking work away from her, try to get your boss to give her something else to make up for it.

Dealing badly with envious colleagues. It's possible that some of your co-workers will envy your raise and will take it out on you with sarcasm and put-downs. The best way to put an end to this is by "heaping coals of fire on their heads" -- by taking every opportunity to help them get ahead, too.