A Bridge is a Terrible Thing to Burn

We've all heard the expression, "Don't burn your bridges," but it is perhaps most true when applied to leaving a job, particularly if you're not leaving voluntarily. No matter how tempting it may be to rant, rave and just generally vent your frustration, keep in mind that giving in to the rage will most certainly do you more harm than good. Did you know that the average American has been in his or her job only four years, and can expect to have five different careers over the course of a lifetime? That, coupled with the current economic downturn, practically guarantees that sooner or later, each of us will be caught holding a pink slip.

According to author J. Damian Birkel, how you leave a job can have far-reaching consequences on your career. He also reminds us that "there is life after unemployment," and that the key is in learning how to turn a negative into positive action through knowledge and persistence.

From his book, Career Bounce-Back! here are some of Birkel's time-tested tips on how to handle job loss:

• R&R -- or "restrain and remember." Restrain your emotions, and remember the difference between what you can and can't control. You probably can't talk your boss into rescinding your termination, but you can hope to leave the company on good terms.
• Gradually disengage yourself from your job. When you were hired, you enthusiastically geared up to become part of the corporate culture, meet new people, and immerse yourself in projects. Now, as you prepare to leave, replay that entire process, but in reverse.
• Negotiate your severance. Don't sign anything until you've had a chance to consider it carefully. Remember, if you don't ask, you don't get. It's up to you to take the initiative and name your terms. What do you have to lose? Try to bargain for:
  • Pay for extra weeks of vacation
  • The opportunity to apply for other jobs within the company
  • Permission to use the company's resources (office space, photocopier, computer, etc.) for your job search
  • Payment for additional training
  • Outplacement assistance
• Try to delay your exit date so that you'll remain on the payroll a bit longer and will have enough time to get your affairs in order. You may be able to accomplish this by explaining that it will take a certain number of days or weeks to finish whatever projects you're working on, or to hand off your duties to co-workers.
• Discuss your company's health care benefits and how long you will qualify for them once you leave. COBRA (Consolidated Omnibus Budget Reconciliation Act of 1986) requires most employers to offer departing employees continued group health insurance benefits. Ask about it.
• Get legal help if you need it. If your employer is denying you the benefits to which you're entitled under the law, if you feel you've been discriminated against, or if you've been wrongly terminated, hire a labor attorney to be your advocate.
• Get your story straight. You'll need a viable, face-saving explanation of why you left the company, and you'll need to get it straight with your employer. Don't worry about the company's well being -- concentrate on maintaining your own reputation. Then tell everyone the same story.
• Take care of business. Don't let your performance slide just before you leave. You want to be remembered in a positive light. You've worked long and hard to establish your reputation; leave with it intact.
• Round up your references. Because many companies will only verify your name, job title and how long you were with the company, you may need to ask individuals to provide you with a letter of recommendation.
• When you leave, remember to take the following:
  • Samples of your best work
  • Letters of praise you've received from customers and clients
  • Performance evaluations
  • Anything that belongs to you (not the company) that could be useful down the road
• Say goodbye graciously. Call or write to colleagues, telling them that it was a pleasure working with them. By recognizing the people who have helped you in the past, you're creating an important bridge that will serve you well in the future.